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Totally Insane Mammal
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Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in cult_of_tim's LiveJournal:

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
2:16 pm
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
3:02 pm

Is the first one Tim himself or a pale imitation?
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
11:04 pm
Today I have mostly been being an Attack Cat.

I have attacked the not mum lady, the swingy ball and the springy mouse.

I have purred loudly and demanded the attention I deserve.

That is all.

Current Mood: Attacky
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
5:23 pm
So I am home alone..
I think that mum is too overworked, so today in an effort to distract her from evil marking, I have been lying all over the papers.

Odd people came round, I showed them my tummy, but they were too interested in sucking face to notice me. Next time I will get my claws in on the action....they can't ignore that.

Now I think I willhelp with the housework, I will knock things off the counter to clear it, Mum will be pleased......

Current Mood: mewwy
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
10:23 am
Successes and Failures.

Last night they found out my secret.

I, TIM, have been eating plastic items and then producing obnoxious smelling poo. They, Stupid Humans, whiff it and gag and open windows. I then escape.

Only they have wedged the windows with carribeners.

I can only poke my head out - but the rest of me doesn't fit.

I hate hate hate hate them.


Also found out how to make them stop taunting my plastic+IAMs belly. I bite my own legs. They drop me laughing and I run away and hide.

A limited success, but a start.
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
9:11 am
To whoever may read this...
I am a one year old cat living trapped in a flat in Edinburgh. My cruel, heartless owners have stopped feeding me.
They call it a diet. I call it torture.

I tried endlessly mewing "Food...food...I need food!"
They ignored me.

I tried pawing and scratching and biting...
The man paw-ed and scratched back.*

*I shall get him back...I shall jumble his cables and knock over his hard drive and sit on his mac and chase and pounce on his feet and yak up elastic bands all over the floor again...

I tried escaping but was too weak to make it off the sofa.

I am literally fading away.

Help me?

Please...I am so alone and so malnurished...you will find my white furry corpse surrounded by flies soon...I am so mis-treated...help...wasting away...food...I need food...


Current Mood: Pathetic
Sunday, March 27th, 2005
9:15 pm
Why don't people seem to like having their head sat on?
The 'not mum' lady came back. Maybe she will come back every day mum isn't here.

I tried to make her stay by sitting on her head, but she left, maybe she doesn't like it. Will try a new ploy tomorrow.

Inanimate objects: 0
TIM: 10

Oh, and mum has made it so I can't shut myself in the bedroom, she spoils all my BEST games.

Current Mood: bouncy
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
2:57 am
I was Very special and hid in the bedroom whilst mum was getting ready to go away on Friday...forgot that the food and litter were NOT in there. Luckily the 'not mum' lady came round..I was busting for a pee by then. She let me out, fed me and then put the icky stuff in my eye. She stayed with me for almost an hour, I tried to drool on her but this silly collar thing gets in the way, luckily it has holes in so I didn't drown in my own drool.

PS That spider's days are numbered....

Current Mood: bouncy
Saturday, February 19th, 2005
8:20 am
Today I fought with a bottle top.

It won.

That will be all.

Current Mood: bitchy
Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
12:36 pm
Today I have been mainly experimenting with entropy. I have also managed to help with the tidying up by batting all the D6 under the fridge.

Go me!
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
11:14 am
Oh!! I Trips...they are such fun to wedge under the Fridge...
9:32 am
This morning I have mostly been pouncing on moms tummy and flying off it.


Doesn't she realise I am after my pilots license?

Other than that been chasing dad's blue tooth thingamebob with the sole aim of getting it wedged under the front door so that mom had to open it and I could make a brave bid for freedom!

Alas she threatened me with bondage involving her dressing gown cord, relented and merely bundled me under her arm.

One day though...
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